Twas The Night Before The Frenzy

Simply we wrote a little something to describe the Free Agent Frenzy. We hope you enjoy it and again “Seasons Greetings!”.


Twas The Night Before The Frenzy

Twas the night before the frenzy, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a GM who’s a mouse!

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In the hopes that Zach Parise would soon be there.


The children were nestled all snug in their beds.

While visions of free agents danced in their heads.

And mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap.

Had just settled in and hoped our team did not take a crap.


When out of the lawm, there rose such a clatter.

Holy jesus! Its Gary Bettman asking what was a matter.

So like a Hurricane, I tore across in a dash.

Hoping too boo him and hit him so he would make a loud thrash.


The full moon rose like an omen over the writer’s beats.

As news sunk in of many team’s defeats.

Teams that were so hopeful of signing that big fish,

Were disappointed when nothing was delivered on that dish.


With a secret video or two made by Zapruder,

I tried to see what was up with Ryan Suter.

His agent took many calls from the foot of his hotel bed.

But forgot to return many, for his battery was dead.


Npw Suter, now Parise, now Semin, and Salvador.

On Penner, on Langenbrunner on, on Parenteau and Brodeur!

To the top of the porch and to the top of the wall!

Now sign away, sign away, sign away all!


As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

Where would Parise end up and under which great big sky.

So up to the agent’s house the GM’s then flew,

His agent with his phone stuck to him like glue.


The dollars would flow from all directions to and fro.

In the end, it was up to the player where he would go.

There was Detroit and New Jersey and Pitttsburgh too,

And even the Rangers who we thought he said F U!


Then out came that commish again dressed all in a suit,

To make sure nothing went wrong on this day of spending loot.

The analysts still waiting to see what would be decided.

As Parise eliminated teams, some got very excited.


The teams started to take a deeper look at this player,

His knee was a bother but did not matter to Sather.

The Ranger GM sprung a great offer with much delight.

In the end, he was turned down with ferocious might.


Other free agents would slowly be signed.

But not the big ones that many had expected on this day of much grind.

In the end, there was much money to be spent

But the lure of barbecues and beer was truly like a heavenly scent.


Parise and Suter would wait another day.

Because it was a weekend of course, tomorrow was Monday.

So everyone seemed ready to piack it all in,

When one man’s decision was made to many’s chagrin.


His agent hardly spoke a word, at least not at first.

But when he did there were teams who felt the worst.

The decision was made, his money all to be there

In the end all it took was the ink and a pinky swear.


With that, 29 other teams were out of the running.

At the end of day one, some were still left hurting.

Uncle Gary would be left with these words at dying light.

Have a Happy Frenzy to all and to all a good night!



Enjoy the free agent frenzy everyone and we will floating around airwaves, and live blogs until our show at 8pm ET.  Now get some rest!




About Chris Wassel

Simply I am a hockey writer who is a jack of all trades. Whether it is draft, fantasy, NHL, KHL, AHL, etc...I probably can write about it. The challenge in hockey is to be able to step out of your comfort zone and write like you are still there. Hopefully you enjoy the humor in the writing on the site and tell your friends. Thanks for reading!