THANKS TO TRENDONITE from MVN for this gem.
Living in the New York metropolitan area as a New York Mets fan is tough. For the past twenty five years, I dealt with the Mets playing the role of the Little Engine That Could to the Bronx Bombers. In turn, I’ve grown up with a hatred for the Yankees that often turns me into a vitriol-spewing nut when confronted with Yankees fans. Unable to really knock them for any of their exploits on the field, I found myself simply accusing them of being fake, fraudulent, bandwagon fans that won’t be around if, and when, the Yankees return to their mid-80’s status. It is a completely unfounded and immature look at the situation.
Over the past few years, I’ve had a fairly large change of opinion on things. As a fan of the New Jersey Devils, Giants and to a lesser extent the New England Patriots, I now understand how a Pinstripe fan feels when fans and the media of the other 99% of the league has to resort to slinging dust because there isn’t any mud to be had. For the Patriots, it is quite simple for them; Tom Brady “sucks and is overrated.” That is laughable even to those who despise the Patriots. However, when it comes to the New Jersey Devils, it seems that everyone is in unison. Unfortunately, if you pay attention to their arguments (re: you actually possess the simple ability to read or hear as that is all you need to see through their baseless claims), you will be blown away with how petty, trivial, and inconsequential the cries are.
“Attendance!”
“Boring!”
“Swamp!”
“Parade!”
Since 1995, a new scribe or fan with Internet access gets mystified by the Siren’s song and floats over to their computer to parrot the same ludicrous thoughts to anyone within eyesight. At this point, you have to wonder if it is some sort of mating call with male hockey fans trying to win the favor and affection of other male hockey fans through baseless Groupthink opinions.
The list of hockey “minds” that have lit into the Devils for all the wrong reasons is staggering. Recently, Kara Yorio (what in the hell did they do to her down at the Asbury Park Press?!), Al Strachan, Glenn Healy, and Chris Russo (Well, he doesn’t exactly matter.) Every week, it is a new pundit coming out of the woodwork. This week’s contestant is The Hockey News’ Mike Brophy.
In the current issue (March 6, 2007), Martin Brodeur is prominently featured on the front cover. It is a beautiful shot of Marty in his home gear squaring up for a shot. Unfortunately, there is text next to it and that’s where it starts going awry.
“He’s one of the greatest ever, but please don’t let his team win Stanley!”
There is also a delicious irony to be had if you flip the magazine over. You’ll find a CCM advertisement giving a 5-step guide on how to score an amazing goal like Alexander Ovechkin (link to goal) did last year. The accompanying text claims that, “With the v10.0 Catapult stick in your hands everything gets bigger. The goal. Passing lanes. Your chance of glory.” Of course, all of this is void if you are playing the “miserable” Devils and you can all just go home and cry in your cereal; or let the writers do it for you the next day.
As for the article, Brophy goes on about the normal routine of complaining about the Devils offense immediately after massaging the reader with some obvious compliments about the team. The piece even includes the requisite anonymous pro scout to offer his two cents.
“The Devils don’t take chances and they don’t allow the opposition to take chances. They turn everybody into automatons…because they can.” Hard-hitting stuff from a pro scout. Likely some OHL guy who is still aggravated that his “can’t miss” prospects he touted couldn’t hack it in the NHL game courtesy of their inability to locate the defensive zone and now his opinion is shunned by NHL General Managers. I see your baseless claim and raise you!
Mr. Brophy, let me propose something to you. I may be overstretching my boundaries, but you’ll never know until you ask. I propose that only morons need lots of points every game to be satisfied with the product. I also propose that these morons are not the fans the NHL needs. They are phantoms. They aren’t going to spend money to attend any NHL game or purchase NHL memorabilia and, unless they are the statistical minority that Nielsen Media Research has tabbed for survey, they are useless to the ratings of the telecasts. These people are watching the NBA, where a point is scored every twenty seconds and they can watch it as if it is a Lost episode, like it is a popcorn flick.
The Devils don’t ruin hockey. You do. Yes, you. With negative articles like this you provide the game that you seemingly love with absolutely nothing. There is not one iota of good that can come from what you wrote. You just reinforced the faulty negative beliefs your readers have of the New Jersey Devils and convinced a large number of them to avoid any telecast or live event involving them. The Devils didn’t do it. You did, and all your friends with a pen/keyboard and an audience have contributed.
I’ve spoken with hockey fans twice my senior and they confirmed that the Montreal Canadiens were not subjected to this sort of treatment and they absolutely infuriated people with the level of defense and transitional hockey they played. It wasn’t coined the “Neutral Zone Trap” or whatever cute term we have today as it wasn’t necessary to place a title on absolutely everything at that time. It was smart, positional hockey. Is that so bad?
For 29 teams it isn’t. Twenty-nine teams play to a 3-1 win and it is “smart, disciplined hockey.” The Devils do it – with more consistency – and it is a plague upon the league. The Devils are the maelstrom and everyone is caught without an umbrella.
Yet, who am I? A Devils fan. My opinion doesn’t matter, right? Because I know I’ve “tossed this team to the side.” 49, 000 hockey fans, on average, attend a hockey game within 10 miles of each other. They can’t all go to one game. Odds are most of them will choose the one that plays in the Garden. If the Detroit Red Wings and Edmonton Oilers were next door to the Rangers, even they’d get outdrawn by New York. It is Madison Square Garden, 80 years of history, and a marquee business product. They’ll sell out if they have six toaster ovens on the ice. Whatever team you favor, Brophy, would get killed in attendance, too. Let’s not even bother to add the Mets, Yankees, Knicks, Nets, Giants, and Jets to the conversation. People are busy, Mike. Lots of options to be had. The people in New Jersey have to compete with the Flyers in some parts. Then you can add Devils fans who attend games for the Phillies, 76ers, and Eagles. I am unsure of your opinion of those of us in tri-state area, but we aren’t all filthy rich or able to manipulate time. Furthermore, most of us root for four major teams and we like to attend those games, too.
I won’t get dragged down into your quagmire. None of us should. I hope you are satisfied with yourself and may your prayer to God come true. May the Devils suck forever and be mathematically eliminated from every playoff the NHL ever conducts.
May you have your league of automatons where everyone has a 24% shooting percentage, goaltenders are rendered mere pylons, and the New Jersey Devils move to Winnipeg or wherever you Sportsnet people want a team. Let there be so many scintillating offense talents that you can’t even tell the difference between them anymore. Everyone can score 80! Break out the asterisks!
Then the world will be perfect….well not really anyway.
