This will hopefully become a column of sorts that discusses the not so always sunny side of hockey. Now this week we will be generous and just kindly let you know that we are starting this new column but next week we will come full tilt with something totally unexpected. So instead here is a classic from the old days…..and do not worry new ESPN Power Rankings are coming again soon. Think of the joy. Now to hit the no so wayback machine and away we go…..
At The Program we admittedly try to bring funny mixed with hard hitting info and this is why we are saying the following…..
With 100% of the precincts reporting….ESPN is officially on crack by a record landslide victory.
Yes we said it. We went there. Here is the link to ESPN’s power rankings. Just looking at some of these either makes me want to vomit or head to Bristol right now and ask which intern slipped in the magic shrooms into the morning breakfast tray. There are more shockers on this list than plot twists from the original Hostel. Okay maybe not but it sure feels that way.
This is like saying Peter Forsberg will come back this year and have 100 points in just 60 games. Did I just type that? I guess I did. Of course I say that sarcastically and maybe that is the message the ESPN folks are trying to convey here. That they have to be bold and snarky just for the sake of doing so. Some quotes are coming in from this list already which means likely ESPN achieved its desired goal here.
James Gerace a good friend of mine alluded to the following…..
i think those guys just like to try to be bold..no one who watches the NHL can make those predictions without chuckeling
Yes indeed. God save the queen perhaps. So Puck Daddy chimed in naturally and I think the words were like this……
Tampa…10th….and something with crack……
Scary I know. Does anyone want to go over these for somewhat of a good laugh? Because really you have to say that these rankings were cooked up by a dealer somewhere in a meth lab.
Tampa Bay…10th place…….
This is the first one that raised major red flags. Surely Mike Smith is a very good goalie and I will grant that but he cannot stay healthy on a team that revamps its roster more times than Joan Rivers having plastic surgery. Yes I know about the French Connection line but this team should not be ranked above the Carolina Hurricanes…..seriously.
Vancouver…17th place……
Another one causing runs to the beer shed for Canucks fans. Roberto Luongo probably is laughing at this one from his lush pad as he wakes up this morning. With the Sedin twins and a pretty stacked D, Vancouver was a favorite or co-favorite to win the Pacific and yet 17th. I understand things for shock value but this one was just a little bit off….don’t you think?
New York Rangers…..22nd place….
I object here even as a Devils fan….I OBJECT! For the record we had the Rangers around 16th or 17th season wise….but not 22nd. Henrik Lundqvist is still an elite goalie last I checked. With a player like Marian Gaborik…this team cannot be 22nd even if Gaborik gets hurt at some point during the season. John Tortorella just will not let that happen and they will play a bit more up tempo. Now I will not say the Rangers will score 240 goals…but they will score more than last year’s moribund total.
New Jersey Devils….24th place…..
And here I thought THN hated the Devils this much. Reality is ESPN does not care much for them either. I get the defensive deficiencies but last I checked the Devils have the best defensive goalie in the modern era and maybe ever. Unless Marty Brodeur aged 10 years in the offseason….things may not be quite this bad. Guys like Oduya and Martin are serviceable and do have nice +/-‘s. Also, the offense did pop in nearly 3 a game last year. That will not plummet like some predict with Jacques Lemaire in charge. He even knows this team must score to win. Its okay ESPN…take the “hash” brownies away now.
Dallas Stars….26th place…..
ESPN really underestimates a team that played much better once Mr. Sloppy Seconds left town. I understand teams have to have a place on this list and someone has to make a decisive decision but still. With guys like Modano, Turco, Morrow, Ribeiro, and Richards….do you really think they are worse off than a team like the Atlanta Thrashers? Are you serious ESPN? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? The Stars will finish a bit better than 26th and really did anyone at ESPN look at the schedule for the first 10 days? Likely not.
Now we did not forget our list for overachieving…but just a list of five that ESPN had a bit high as well as Tampa.
Washington Capitals (4th) — they may fail a bit on this one.
San Jose Sharks (2nd) — not as good as people think.
Philadelphia Flyers (3rd) — If Emery or Richards goes down.
Buffalo Sabres (13th) — Possible but not likely just yet.
Pittsburgh Penguins (1st) — Stanley Cup hangover…..
Like I said let us see what happens but when going for shock value ESPN really succeeded.
What did we go wrong on?
Buffalo Sabres (13th) — They exceeded expectations and that was without Thomas Vanek having a big year. Tyler Myers should win the Calder hands down and obviously Ryan Miller was a beast all year. We expected beast but beast mode? Not so much.
San Jose Sharks (2nd) — Technically we could be right here but if things break right…San Jose could finish 2nd in the league behind Washington so we err on the wrong side of caution here. Give the Sharks credit, despite some bumps, they did find a way to go over 110 points again.
Washington Capitals (4th) — We were very wrong on this one as the Caps have surpassed 120 points on the season and won the Presidents Trophy a week ago. You can win with average goaltending and extraordinary offense in the East and Washington proved it. Actually their goaltending was a bit above average to be honest. How it works in the playoffs? That is a wait and see.
What WE Were RIGHT ON….
Tampa Bay (10th) — Obviously 10th was a long shot but we thought no way they would fall as flat as they did late in the season. From playoff 6 seed to near the bottom, they were the ANTI St. Louis of last year.
Vancouver Canucks (17th) — We had them higher and we were glad we did. What is kind of funny is that ESPN was right that Luongo would have a bit of an off season. However, Henrik Sedin won the Art Ross and the offense was a lot more lively than most predicted. Vancouver has 272 goals on the year and could finish 2nd in the league in scoring. That is why they won the Northwest, on offense and not goaltending. Strange but true!
New York Rangers (22nd) — A mild objection but the Rangers could finish 17th overall in the NHL if they win today. They were what we thought they were…exactly middle of the pack and not what ESPN thought of them. Will they finish the deal and fulfill our expectations? We shall see soon.
New Jersey Devils (24th) — ESPN really had to be starting up the death nail on this one when they started the Power Rankings for the year. To start a team off 24th that had won 3 of the last 4 division titles is pretty significant….as in significant FAIL! Despite some rough times, the Devils once again won the Atlantic this year. What that means come playoff time is anyone’s guess but Martin Brodeur had over 40 wins again and Zach Parise had a bit of a dropoff but nearly ended up with 40 goals on the season.
What I also learned this year…..
Roberto Luongo was not the #1 goalie in the league this year and not even close.
Phoenix and Colorado were way better than I thought.
Evander Kane really can throw them down.
Florida and Tampa should be merged and moved to Winnipeg.
Always draft Martin Brodeur in your fantasy league.
Lastly, beware the Stanley Cup hangover.
