It is now confirmed that the Ilya Kovalchuk hearing will take place Wednesday in Boston. The hearing will take place over two days and the arbiter will have 48 hours to rule which means we will likely still know by Friday or the weekend. Either way, there will be an end of sorts to this saga. At least we hope. The thing is who knows how this ruling will go. Devils brass seems to know how this is going to go and almost too gleefully so while the NHL seems confident but no one is really sure. By the way the parties will be there tomorrow. It makes you wonder what would happen if they meet. We have a potential scenario below…..but first more on that fly on the wall.
Not quite this version but it will do.
The reality of scales is this. The arbiter can rule for the league or for Kovalchuk. I know he has the option to restructure the contract but that seems less likely at this moment. So since this can go only two ways, it is poetic that we have to wait 2 days for the hearing then 2 more for the result.
So if the parties met tomorrow in a bar in Boston this is how it could go. For the sake of brevity….we will use the NHL and NHLPA as an easy way to follow this.
NHL: Good evening guys.
NHLPA: Hey, what’s up? Want to buy this round?
NHL: No we already bought a round.
NHLPA: You guys have all the money and can’t afford another round? Our guy had money but you said no!
NHL: Not our fault it was so front loaded…..
NHLPA: What about those other deals you conveniently allowed?
NHL: Well we were a bit drunk at the time but we did investigate them to the fullest.
NHLPA: What? Four weeks after the fact? Screw drinking…I think you were smoking something….
NHL: We do not do pot or drugs….WTF are you insinuating?
NHLPA: If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it must be a …….
NHL: F YOU!
NHLPA: No….F YOU!
At this point…..the NHL gets mad….and one lawyer throws a beer at an NHLPA lawyer…and then……
NHL: You started it….
NHLPA: No you started it….
NHL: Hold on we have some money here….want a million to settle this?
NHLPA: No! We want some blood here….why step in now on Mr. Kovalchuk here.
Mr. Kovalchuk: Where is my breakfast?
NHLPA: Here is some vodka first…breakfast is coming.
The fight starts and clearly the NHLPA wins only because they are a bit younger and can swing bottles of alcohol faster.
So the NHLPA should win this if the fight goes like the hearing. Howver if common sense prevails, there could be a compromise. Common sense in a hearing like this? I guess anything is possible. Have a great night!
