Those Rejected Hockey Awards….

I wonder if Dr. Seuss was alive, what he would say about these awards and better yet if the NHL had a set of cajones.  First off, we cannot forget the label of being well rejected.



Yes it is a very simple yet useful word especially for our case here.  So here they come…our first annual The Program Reject NHL Awards……


First up is the Pension Plan Puppets Award for Worst Owner:

Our nominees:  The Toronto Maple Leafs group, Florida Panthers partnership, The NHL


The Red Wing:  For the best way to skirt the salary cap.

Our nominess:  The Flyers (For their IR methods), The Wings (for Jiri Hudler), Chicago (for their RFA snafu)


The Lyrical Diarrhea Award:  For the worst hockey song.

Our nods:  Hey Devils Catch Fire, The 80’s Flames song,  The Malkin Mash


The Chris Wassel Memorial Award:  Award for mass consumption.

Our nods:  Dominik Hasek, Rob Ramage, Darren McCarty


The Dany Heatley Car Pool Award:  Given to the NHL’s worst driver

Our nods:  Dany Heatley, Gary Bettman, Rob Ramage


The Worst Thank You To End The Season:  To the team who fails and bad!

Our nods:  Florida Panthers, NY Rangers (Olli Jokinen), Tampa Bay Lightning


The Please Shut Up Pierre Award :  Given to Worst Broadcaster or Personality

Our nods:  Pierre McGuire, John Stevens, Roger Millions


The Brian Leetch Cab Award:  Given to players who get hurt by their own stupidity

Our nods:  Brian Leetch, Eric Lindros, Eric Desjardins


The Ted Nolan Memorial Award:  Given to player who bangs another’s wife.

Our nods:  Eric Lindros, Jeff Carter


The Worst Slogan Award: Self Explanatory

Our nods:  We Pray For LA, Caps: Your Cool Alternative, The Isles: We are heart here.


That is enough awards for now…if you have any other god awful ones….just put them in the comments section, facebook, or twitter.  We will be waiting for them and enjoy the hockey tonight.

About Chris Wassel

Simply I am a hockey writer who is a jack of all trades. Whether it is draft, fantasy, NHL, KHL, AHL, etc...I probably can write about it. The challenge in hockey is to be able to step out of your comfort zone and write like you are still there. Hopefully you enjoy the humor in the writing on the site and tell your friends. Thanks for reading!